[Veronica Dreadful]

Check out this hilarious website: Stuff white people like

Some snippets:

#78 Multilingual Children

All white people want their children to speak another language. There are no exceptions. They dream about the children drifting in between French and English sentences as they bustle about the kitchen while they read the New York Times and listen to Jazz.


#77 Musical Comedy

One of the more interesting things about White people is that they love singing comedians.

This style of humor involves a person or group singing a song but rather than singing about something serious, it has funny lyrics. It’s not any more complicated than that, but white people can’t get enough of it. Weird Al Yankovich, Tenacious D, Sarah Silverman (sometimes), Flight of the Conchords, Dennis Leary, and Adam Sandler are all excellent examples of the genre.

#76 Bottles of Water

Water seems like a fairly simple concept. You turn on the tap, put glass underneath, and drink. Sadly, it is not this simple for white people.

On the whole, they are unable to put a glass under a tap and just drink. In fact, this is such a strange concept that the city of New York had to launch a rather large PR campaign to show white people that it was possible to actually drink the water that comes out of the tap!

#75 Threatening to Move to Canada

Often times, white people get frustrated with the state of their country. They do not like the President, or Congress, or the health care system, or the illegal status of Marijuana. Whenever they are presented with a situation that seems unreasonable to them, their first instinct is to threaten to move to Canada.

#74 Oscar Parties

One of the best places to gain a white person’s trust is at an Oscar party. An invitation to one these parties is basically your “foot in the door”.

Vocabulary is one of the first things to be aware of at an Oscar party. Never say “movie”, always say “film” and know which awards use the term “Best” and which ones use “Outstanding Achievement”. Saying “I hope Atonement wins Best Art Direction” will guarantee that you won’t be invited next year.

#73 Gentrification

In general, white people love situations where they can’t lose. While this does account for the majority of their situations, perhaps the safest bet a white person can make is to buy a house in an up-and-coming neighborhood.

White people like to live in these neighborhoods because they get credibility and respect from other white people for living in a more “authentic” neighborhood where they are exposed to “true culture” every day. So whenever their friends mention their home in the suburbs or richer urban area, these people can say “oh, it’s so boring out there, so fake. In our neighborhood, things are just more real.” This superiority is important as white people jockey for position in their circle of friends.

#72 Study Abroad

In addition to accumulating sexual partners, binge drinking, drug use and learning, white people consider studying abroad to be one of the most important parts of a well rounded college education.

If you need to make up your own study abroad experience, they all pretty much work the same way. You arrived in Australia not knowing anybody, you went out to the bar the first night and made a lot of friends, you had a short relationship with someone from a foreign country, you didn’t learn anything, and you acquired a taste for something (local food, beer, fruit). This latter point is important because you will need to be able to tell everyone how it is unavailable in your current country.

It is also important that you understand the study abroad ranking system. Europe/Australia form the base level, then Asia, then South America, and finally the trump card of studying abroad in Tibet. Then there is the conversation killer of studying abroad in Africa. If you studied in Africa, it is usually a good idea to keep it quiet, it will remind white people that they were too scared to go and they will feel bad. Use this only in emergencies.

#71 Being the only white person around

In most situations, white people are very comforted by seeing their own kind. However, when they are eating at a new ethnic restaurant or traveling to a foreign nation, nothing spoils their fun more than seeing another white person.

Many white people will look into the window of an ethnic restaurant to see if there are other white people in there. It is determined to be an acceptable restaurant if the white people in there are accompanied by ethnic friends. But if there is a table occupied entirely by white people, it is deemed unacceptable.

#68 Michel Gondry

In putting together the canon of directors that white people like, we must include Michel Gondry. He directed such white classics as Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, The Science of Sleep, and Dave Chappelle’s Block Party. Oh, that’s right Charlie Kaufman, Gael Garcia Bernal, AND Dave Chappelle - could it get any better for white people? Oh yes, it can.

If you look at the DVD collection of a white person (even those without a TV), it will contain “The Work of Director Michel Gondry” (pictured).

This can be used to help find common ground with white people. Talk about how you wanted to direct music videos after you saw Michel Gondry’s video for “Around the World” by Daft Punk. Then make a joke about how foolish you were at that age and everyone will have a good laugh. But they will also feel your pain about sacrificing your artistic dreams.

The observant among you will probably be aware that the white person wet dream “Be Kind, Rewind” is about to be released. This might be the biggest event in white person film since The Royal Tenenbaums.


#67 Standing Still at Concerts

Music is very important to white people. It truly is the soundtrack to their lives, meaning that white people are constantly thinking about what songs would be on the soundtrack for the biopic. The problem is that most of the music that white people like isn’t really dance-friendly. More often the songs are about pain, or love, or breaking up with someone, or not being able to date someone, or death.

So when white people go to concerts at smaller venues, what to do they do? They stand still! This is an important part of white concert going as it enables you to focus on the music, and it will prevent drawing excess attention to you. Remember, at a concert everyone is watching you just waiting for you to try to start dancing. Then they will make fun of you.

#62 Knowing what’s best for poor people

White people spend a lot of time of worrying about poor people. It takes up a pretty significant portion of their day.

They feel guilty and sad that poor people shop at Wal*Mart instead of Whole Foods, that they vote Republican instead of Democratic, that they go to Community College/get a job instead of studying art at a University.

It is a poorly guarded secret that, deep down, white people believe if given money and education that all poor people would be EXACTLY like them. In fact, the only reason that poor people make the choices they do is because they have not been given the means to make the right choices and care about the right things.

A great way to make white people feel good is to tell them about situations where poor people changed how they were doing things because they were given the ‘whiter’ option.

#49 Vintage

The love affair between white people and old stuff literally goes back for hundreds of years. In the older days, it was almost exclusively contained within the realm of furniture. While white people still love antiques, they don’t always fit so well with a modern lifestyle and kitchen.

Beginning in their late teens, white people begin an obsession with finding cool vintage clothing at local thrift shops and Goodwills. Making purchases at these locations address a number of white person needs.

First, it allows them to say “oh, this? I got this shirt at Goodwill for $3.” This statement focuses the attention on the shirt, taking attention away from the $350 jeans and $200 shoes. The white person can then retain that precious ‘indie’ cred.

:lol:

[EyesLikeKnives]

I was going to post this the other day when I saw it!

[Veronica Dreadful]

EyesLikeKnives, on Feb 29 2008, 08:07 PM, said:

I was going to post this the other day when I saw it!

Isn't it a riot? I wonder if there is a "stuff hispanic people like.." number one on that list would be unprotected sex, number two would be throwing garbage on clean streets and number three would be assuming everyone speaks Spanish, and if they don't, giving them a nasty look (even if it is the U.S.)...


I should write that blog.

[Not Thurston Moore Maybe]

If we're talking Hispanics and not just Spanish people then number two should be "trying to race everyone on the road". Number three is "reggaeton".

[BedtimeStories]

Veronica Dreadful, on Feb 29 2008, 08:02 PM, said:

#76 Bottles of Water

Water seems like a fairly simple concept. You turn on the tap, put glass underneath, and drink. Sadly, it is not this simple for white people.

On the whole, they are unable to put a glass under a tap and just drink. In fact, this is such a strange concept that the city of New York had to launch a rather large PR campaign to show white people that it was possible to actually drink the water that comes out of the tap!

Well for many Black Africans water does not come from a tap and they would be extremely happy to receieve a truck load of bottled water.

[Veronica Dreadful]

Not Thurston Moore Maybe, on Feb 29 2008, 08:15 PM, said:

If we're talking Hispanics and not just Spanish people then number two should be "trying to race everyone on the road". Number three is "reggaeton".

Or crowding all ten kids in one station wagon, or wearing Baby Phat (that would go on the black people list too), or rice and beans or goya or cocitos (sp?), or taking the bus, or cheap ass gold jewelries or hairy arms on women or Paulina and Shakira or univision and telemundo or dressing and acting like black people... I could go on forever. :lol:

[Not Thurston Moore Maybe]

* Mazda trucks and Honda Accords and Civics

** Daddy (Y/J)ankee and Pitbull

[Mysterious Traveller]

Veronica Dreadful, on Feb 29 2008, 06:20 PM, said:

Or crowding all ten kids in one station wagon,

Around here, we call that "beanpacking".

[Veronica Dreadful]

Not Thurston Moore Maybe, on Feb 29 2008, 08:27 PM, said:

* Mazda trucks and Honda Accords and Civics

** Daddy (Y/J)ankee and Pitbull

HAHAHA!!!!!!

Taco Bell, halatos..what about black people?

Black people like making fun of white people, black movies about cheating men and hoochie mommas and barbershops, fake hair, getting their nails "did" on the weekend, nightclubs with metal detectors, fried chicken with cornbread-corn on the cob-and fruit punch, Baby Phat, hip hop, soulja boy-booty call-electric slide dances, sneakers, cheap malls, having babies with more than one baby daddy, paying the rent late, being overweight is 'aight, working at mcdonalds, popeyes, church's chicken, GOING TO THE MOVIES AND TALKING BACK AT THE SCREEN (that's a big one-I go to black movie theatres for the sheer entertainment), knowing all the lyrics to Jay-Z and Notorious B.I.G. songs is a prerequisite to hanging out with a black person, mouth jewelries, 106 and Park on BET, affirmative action, getting something for very little work, HBC's like Howard, Spelman and Morehouse, having fun no matter what.

[Not Thurston Moore Maybe]

All I've got is walking slow on campus and rapping to whatever is on the person's iPod.

I just have to add one more for the Hispanics. The girls, Puerto Ricans and Dominicans specifically, snap their fingers and yell out "oh snap!" everytime a fight breaks out. Every single fight I've seen has the "oh snap!" girls.

[Veronica Dreadful]

Not Thurston Moore Maybe, on Feb 29 2008, 08:42 PM, said:

All I've got is walking slow on campus and rapping to whatever is one the person's iPod.

I just have to add one more for the Hispanics. The girls, Puerto Ricans and Dominicans specifically, snap their fingers and yell out "oh snap!" everytime a fight breaks out.

Hahaha!!! Yes being LATE is def a black thing. And they have the nerve to blame white people for not succeeding. :rolleyes:

[Mysterious Traveller]

And making weird noises while watching sports highlights.

[Veronica Dreadful]

Mysterious Traveller, on Feb 29 2008, 08:45 PM, said:

And making weird noises while watching sports highlights.

lulz BASKETBALL is a black sport, FOOTBALL is a black sport, BOXING is a black sport..everything else is for whites--with the exception of like, soccer--every group you can imagine is into the world cup (except for American blacks--to them, that shit be gay).

[Nicol Mtz.]

VD, you really dont hang out with many minorities do you?


hispanics: leering at attractive women, cooking things in aluminum foil, the virgin mary, dark brown lip-liner, teenage pregnancy, gothic font, hair spray, apple bottoms, boasting about their country of origin, glittering cartoon characters preferably winnie the pooh, dangling CD ornements from their rear view mirrors

[Mysterious Traveller]

The minorities VD hangs out with include Croatians, Poles, Romanians, etc.

[Tango]

Wow! You guys know a lot about minorities.

[Mysterious Traveller]

Tango, on Feb 29 2008, 09:22 PM, said:

Wow! You guys know a lot about minorities.

Ouch.

[Not Thurston Moore Maybe]

Tango, on Feb 29 2008, 11:22 PM, said:

Wow! You guys know a lot about minorities.

Are you implying something?

[Tango]

^ no, just reading, like a text book.

I love learning.

[Mysterious Traveller]

Tango, on Feb 29 2008, 09:29 PM, said:

^ no, just reading, like a text book.

I love learning.

These are just generalizations.

[Tango]

really?

[Mysterious Traveller]

Stereotypes, if you will.

[Tango]

Tango, on Mar 1 2008, 01:38 AM, said:

really?

I heard all white people love the Dixie Chicks.

[Rachael]

Law & Order.

[Mysterious Traveller]

I used to be obsessed with Law & Order: SVU.