[laurieann]

3dsound, on Sep 23 2008, 02:28 PM, said:

:huh:

I meant I wanted an update from evy on whether or not she moved, etc. etc.

[Veronica Dreadful]

laurieann, on Sep 23 2008, 03:17 PM, said:

Can we get an update??

I can't say I've really had a true, existential crisis. Looking back to the wikipedia link:

I've felt alone and isolated.

However, I do not feel like there is NO afterlife, or that it is negative unless you were a total, unrepentant shit on earth. I do believe my life has purpose. My life might not have the grand purpose that touches a large number of lives, but it touches my children, my husband, my family, my friends, co-workers, etc., etc.

I have wondered if there's something else I should be doing with the majority of my time, but not to the extent where I feel no purpose or totally negative, depressed.

So, like, see a psychiatrist and get some meds. :wacko:

[laurieann]

Sloane Ranger, on Sep 23 2008, 02:33 PM, said:

So, like, see a psychiatrist and get some meds. :wacko:

Hmm...don't know why I'd need to do this if I haven't had an existential crisis before or felt like my life had no purpose???

3dsound, on Sep 23 2008, 02:33 PM, said:

oh I wasn't talking about the update. I am just not sure I understood your quote about unrepentant shit on earth. lol

Just that if you treat people badly and never make up for it, I don't think you'll be sitting pretty after you die.

[laurieann]

3dsound, on Sep 23 2008, 02:39 PM, said:

oh but that's a different topic, isn't it?

True, but I was just looking up the wikipedia link, where it mentioned three specifics on existential crisis - one of them being you feel there is no afterlife or feel that it is negative.

[Kaziu]

Im a gypsy and im sayin this board wont exsist in two years from now.

[23*]

Kaziu, on Sep 23 2008, 08:55 PM, said:

Im a gypsy and im sayin this board wont exsist in two years from now.

I'd love to be a gypsy and I'm hoping in two years I have something else in my life so don't care anymore.
I know this is wishful thinking, my life is super empty! :D

[Kaziu]

23*, on Sep 23 2008, 08:57 PM, said:

I'd love to be a gypsy and I'm hoping in two years I have something else in my life so don't care anymore.
I know this is wishful thinking, my life is super empty! :D

The board wont be here what you gonna do?

[station to station]

station to station, on Sep 23 2008, 02:10 PM, said:

I have one everyday.... I kid.

I had one when I was seven years old white taking a shite.
I was thinking about Cap'n Crunch and then I just got all existential.

Scrap that, my first existential crisis was when I was seven and was watching
a video of a Selena concert (this was after she died) and I got all scared
and cried and thought about life and shit. It lasted for a week.

The cap'n Crunch incident was when I was 15. Now that existential crisis lasted
for weeks, I think a whole month; I obsessed over it. I remember everything
seemed like a blur and my vision was darker. I don't know, it was just really horrible for me.

[Karl]

For me it's existential crisis everyday as soon as I open my eyes.

PS: Stationtostation I love the watercolours on your av and signature, who' the artist?

[station to station]

Karl, on Sep 23 2008, 06:34 PM, said:

PS: Stationtostation I love the watercolours on your av and signature, who' the artist?

Thanks. They're from a DC comic book called Moonshadow illustrated/painted by Jon J. Muth.

[evy]

Update: There were signs everywhere telling me not to go. I refused to listen.

-My college prior was proving to be difficult to transfer my credits.

- I got nothing from FAFSA

-family in severe money problems

- my friend whom I was moving there with, had to give her money for the move to her family.

-whatever money I had, I did the same thing with.

- banks were not giving me loans bc of prior bad credit.

- i got into a relationship

- my credits didn't transfer.

After the last one, I sort of broke down and realised it wasn't going to happen. When my friends, family, and co-workers found out I wasn't leaving, they heaved a sigh of relief... then said 'I could've told you it wasn't going to happen'. I was pissed, because I was doing everything in my power to go there, and it STILL didn't happen. I think it was mainly because the greater part of me wanted to leave for all the wrong reasons. Then I started realising that no matter what, I couldn't escape this life if I moved out of the continent. I just began to make it better for myself.

But I am happy. I got fired from that job. Now I work in retail, which I love, with clothing and accesories very similar to the ones I used to design as a teen. If I am a good girl, I can slowly, but surely make my way up to designer (which is my goal). I've started doing up some drawings I will show my boss in a couple of months, see if the company can afford it. :)

I'm also looking into Cosmetology school for next fall, since my credit is better, and I will be able to file independent for FAFSA, I am set.

I am madly inlove with my boyfriend, he's been super supportive, even when he thought I was moving to Chicago. My family situation is stable, next year this apartment will be most likely signed over to my brother and I (I think it's possible, we aren't too sure still), and eerything is good. The occasional stress comes and goes in my life...but I am happy with where I am right now.

and that's all that matters.

[stella diver x]

^ Good for you, Eves. Sounds like things have panned out nicely for you. :)

And i didn't know you had a lovah!


I take medication, only cause on a scale between 1-10 ~ my stress level is a 10 (easily) and i suffer from post traumatic stress disorder. Suffice it to say, i can have loads of anxiety. The meds keep it at bay, and therefor i don't really succumb to any nihilistic thoughts or think i'm better off dead anymore. I have actually got the antithesis of all that at this time in that i'm in love with life. CARPE DIEM!

[tercat]

Karl, on Sep 23 2008, 07:34 PM, said:

PS: Stationtostation I love the watercolours on your av and signature, who' the artist?

I was wondering the same!

[23*]

Kaziu, on Sep 23 2008, 09:00 PM, said:

The board wont be here what you gonna do?

Nowt. Like I do now.

Stare at more walls? Do more work?

[laurieann]

evy, on Sep 23 2008, 10:18 PM, said:

Update: There were signs everywhere telling me not to go. I refused to listen.

-My college prior was proving to be difficult to transfer my credits.

- I got nothing from FAFSA

-family in severe money problems

- my friend whom I was moving there with, had to give her money for the move to her family.

-whatever money I had, I did the same thing with.

- banks were not giving me loans bc of prior bad credit.

- i got into a relationship

- my credits didn't transfer.

After the last one, I sort of broke down and realised it wasn't going to happen. When my friends, family, and co-workers found out I wasn't leaving, they heaved a sigh of relief... then said 'I could've told you it wasn't going to happen'. I was pissed, because I was doing everything in my power to go there, and it STILL didn't happen. I think it was mainly because the greater part of me wanted to leave for all the wrong reasons. Then I started realising that no matter what, I couldn't escape this life if I moved out of the continent. I just began to make it better for myself.

But I am happy. I got fired from that job. Now I work in retail, which I love, with clothing and accesories very similar to the ones I used to design as a teen. If I am a good girl, I can slowly, but surely make my way up to designer (which is my goal). I've started doing up some drawings I will show my boss in a couple of months, see if the company can afford it. :)

I'm also looking into Cosmetology school for next fall, since my credit is better, and I will be able to file independent for FAFSA, I am set.

I am madly inlove with my boyfriend, he's been super supportive, even when he thought I was moving to Chicago. My family situation is stable, next year this apartment will be most likely signed over to my brother and I (I think it's possible, we aren't too sure still), and eerything is good. The occasional stress comes and goes in my life...but I am happy with where I am right now.

and that's all that matters.

Thanks, Evy. Glad to hear it's all good now :)

[sofiya_qotsa]

When one of my friends passed away suddenly earlier this year. My first one was when I was ten and I saw a child get hit by a car right in front of me. And then there was a time I read an article when I was 14 about a 12 year old boy who had died in his sleep for no apparent reason. That got me paranoid and I became an insomniac for a while. It still gets to me sometimes and Im afraid to sleep, thinking I could die and no one would know.

And usually when I'm hung over. I dont get physically ill but I wake up and Im so depressed and I ponder over my life, what Im doing, am I just wasting my time? What is the point of anything and what now? Why dont I just end it all?

Has anyone had intrusive thoughts though? Like you'll be talking to some stranger and they're nice and you think what would happen if I just punched them now? Or im at the cental train station and i look down at the tracks and i think what would happen if I just jumped on the tracks now? I had a really horrible thought with one of my friends like that, who is in a wheel chair. I wont tell you what I was thinking, Im sure you guys can figure it out.

[TheNew]

Since this morning and gmail thrusts upon me:

Burmese Chat - BharatMatrimony.Com/Register-Free - Marry Well Settled NRI Who Speaks Your Own Language. Join Free! Now

[Rosebud]

Wow this is old but I'm going to bump it up regardless because I'm having one right now. Thankfully it is not as deep and involves work.

Am I supposed to fight for a job I'm not completely sure I want????
Do I deserve to be here????
Why am I here when they don't give me enough to do????

GAH! :blink:

[station to station]

Kaziu, on 23 September 2008 - 02:55 PM, said:

Im a gypsy and im sayin this board wont exsist in two years from now.

YOU WERE WRONG!

[the LOST]

Wasn't the first time, and won't be the last.

[tercat]

Yes. Having one. That is all.